(FULL DISCLAIMER: I already mentioned this prelude but I will say this again, the following fight was written by Randomaneer123 and he simply requested that I uploaded it for him. He deserves all the credit for all of his hard work.)
UL: Well everyone, the web has been spun...
Mettaton: And the stinger is loose... Who will prevail?
UL: My fellow viewers...IT'S TIME FOR DRAMA!
Mettaton: IT'S TIME FOR VIOLENCE!
UL: IT'S TIME FOR ACTION!
Mettaton: LADIES AND GENTLEMEN...
Canaima, California, 1991...
A cricket sat perched on a rock, its antenna wiggling to and fro as it looked over its surroundings. The insect had just been dropped into this place, and it slowly began to scurry along the rocks, its many legs noiselessly running along the rough ground.
The tiny lifeform soon made its way off of the rocks and over to a nearby plant. It grew hungry for food, having not eaten in a long time. The creature scurried onto a large leaf, and slowly tried chewing into the vegetation. However, the insect’s mouth wasn’t filled with something it expected. The leaf gave way to its mandibles, and yet it didn’t taste familiar. There was no wetness or the crisp texture it expected from snapping into the leaf. This was tasteless, lifeless.
The green insect had no chance to spit out the plastic portion of the fake plant’s leaf before a sharp object slammed into the back of its head. As its life faded, it was dimly aware of the faint shink sound the tail made as it pulled upwards, taking a good portion of the cricket’s head with it.
A Scorpion began to rip apart and devour its meal, crunching through its prey’s exoskeleton without issue. It munched down the cricket quickly, ripping off a leg and then chewing it down, before it moved on to another, and then the body. Soon enough, the cricket was gone.
“Woah, that’s so cool!” A voice boomed. Had the Scorpion had eardrums similar to that of a mammal, they might’ve been blown out. The intensity of even a simple shout of excitement from the massive creature looking in on it, made it feel like the whole enclosure was shaking, the ground giving way beneath the arachnid’s legs. However, it wasn’t, it was just the scale difference, such an astronomically huge amount, and yet the creature keeping the arachnid hostage was merely a child.
One could just imagine the Scorpion’s thoughts on the whole situation, assuming it could even comprehend the situation it was in. Going from the great outdoors to its glass and plastic prison happened in basically an instant. To wake up one day, plucked from the desert, and find oneself in a pet store wasn’t exactly easy to adjust to.
It was seemingly easier to adjust once the predator had been adopted, taken back to an excitable child’s home as a form of a birthday present. The Scorpion would be seated in the same room as a Tarantula, with the fellow arachnids eyeing at each other from across the room, glass and several feet of space separating them, though it felt like miles given their size.
Existence was slow, dull, and unfulfilling. Over 400 million years of evolution, just to sit in a small, enclosed, glass container no bigger than a shoebox. You could almost call it an embarrassment, monotony had taken over. Hide in a burrow, sleep, wake, kill a cricket, mealworm, or beetle, go to burrow, sleep, repeat.
It was kept not for the love of arachnids, but more of the “coolness” factor scorpions brought among the youthful boys on the playground of the small town. Sometimes there would be other giants come in, disturbing the smaller being, crowding around to watch it sit, and eat, and then go into its burrow to sleep. Nothing more, nothing less.
Yet today was different. After the feast, an even larger creature entered the room. The Scorpion heard the urgent sounds of a mother, calling out in worry as she quickly picked up her child.
The Scorpion heard cries of “They’re back!”, “There’s a nest in our house!”, and “We’ve got to get out of here now!”
Now whether or not the creature knew what this meant or could understand it in the first place really didn’t matter. What did matter is that when the worried mother turned, one of her child’s feet bumped against the plastic lid of the glass container, knocking it loose and causing it to fall to the floor with a dull thud
With that one, swift movement, the two were gone. The Scorpion heard the child’s shouts of protest grow dim, and soon enough, the revving of a vehicle from outside the nearby opened window, with headlights joining the moonlight from outside to brighten up the exterior of the home.
The Scorpion had no reason to pay it any mind of course, as it was already out of its former prison by this point. No longer bound by the constraints it had lived under for so long, it began to explore, crawling down to the wooden floor of the room and soon, out the open door.
Living Room...
Life had been a pain since his birth. Born from an egg sac, the first thing the creature had seen in this world was the smoldering corpse of his father and his brothers soon following suit. It was a painful existence, and yet here he was.
His children had swarmed out, expanding their way from their nest, which was tucked away in a damp, dark corner that had been rarely used. Now, this quiet, urban home was filled with his children, his soldiers, who began their feast. It had become a house of madness and webs in a few short minutes, with spider webs being constructed in the various corners, and his soldiers scampering freely, ripping apart the few other insects that had the unfortunate fate of being left in this feeding frenzy.
The General sat, looking around at the spider-coated walls of the living room that was fine mere minutes ago. The spider’s legs flexed along the shaggy carpeted floor, with his hairy appendages feeling the ground beneath him.
However, this grand victory over the humans that so despised his kind wasn’t as cut and dry as one would expect. A loud (well, for a spider anyways) noise rang out, as the spider General looked upwards towards the second-floor balcony that lay dozens of feet above.
He watched as the crumpled-up carcass of one of his children flew down, its crumpled body soon slamming onto the carpet and splattering only a foot away from the massive spider.
The General might’ve felt a sense of shock, if he was capable, though, given his nature as an arachnid, it was impossible to tell. Regardless though, he watched as another body dropped from above him and slammed into the carpeted floor dead ahead.
However, this wasn’t a corpse. No, no. It was a fellow arachnid. A Scorpion, to be specific. A Scorpion that had one of his soldiers impaled on its right claw. Said corpse was missing several legs, and its entire thorax was gone, leaving the spider’s carcass to leak its fluids all over the claws of its killer.
The Scorpion tossed aside the corpse without much effort. Finally, after so long, so many crickets, and so little movement space, the beast was free. No more cowering to the burrow, and no more humans to get in the way. Its cage had been destroyed and it had just met a worthy foe.
The General flared up on his back legs, making himself look bigger as he bared his fangs at the fellow poisonous predator. He began to move closer to the Scorpion, who in turn raised his claws to also act as an intimidation display. And yet, neither backed down. Neither turned tail and fled. They just approached, slowly but surely getting into striking range of one another as they did.
The General’s soldiers all had their eyes pointed toward the floor, watching as the two advanced, circling one another to see who’d falter first. And yet, when neither did, they did what any hunter would do…
They charged.
The simple living room had been turned into a Thunderdome for these Deadly Creatures.
The Scorpion, given it had the longer reach, thrusted out its tail. As it went to strike though, his target jumped aside, leading to the arachnid’s stinger jabbing into the wooden flooring.
The General watched for a moment as his opponent went to yank his tail free, only to then lunge at the fellow arachnid, fangs bared. However, the Scorpion had freed his tail by this point, and put both it and his claws up, causing the surging spider to slam into them before he was tossed aside, his eight legs twitching about as he landed on his back.
The General hissed loudly as he flailed about, while the Scorpion approached him to jab into his soft underbelly. However, the stinger tipped beast wasn’t able to get more than a few inches close to him before no less than three of the General’s soldiers dropped down on top of him, with two grabbing and trying to bite at his claws, while one used all its might to try and restrain his tail.
This strategy was effective for only a few seconds, before the larger arthropod quickly jerked his tail backwards, slamming the soldier on it into the wood flooring with enough force to splatter it’s cephalothorax into mushy paste, sending green “blood” and guts all over the carpet.
He then turned his attention to the two still trying to bite through his durable claws. However, neither of the soldiers had any luck. With his opponents useless biting at his claws, the beast had the upper hand to surge his newly freed, blood splattered stinger right into the brain of the one on his right claw. The spider immediately went limp, its legs curling up to show its signature sign of death.
The tailed arachnid then grabbed into the lifeless soldier’s body and lifted it up before slamming it into the last remaining one that clung to his claw. This created a sort of “spider sandwich” if you will, with the two much smaller creatures splattering on top of one another.
Had the homeowner been here to see the amount of arachnid guts on their carpet already, it would’ve caused immense disgust. However, the fight was far from over, as by this point the General had gotten back onto his eight legs in all the confusion.
But that wasn’t the Scorpion’s only problem as now there were well over a dozen other spider soldiers that had crawled to the floor to help their king. They all circled around both the Scorpion and the General, creating a sort of arena as the two circled one another.
The battle was slow and tense, with neither making a move on one another. Of course, this tense “peace” only lasted for a few moments before the General reared back, going for a false bite. The Scorpion took the bate and jabbed out his tail, only to hit the air as the General dodged aside, and went for a real bite. However, he got socked in the mandibles from a hard left hook by the battle ready arthropod.
This blow caused the arachnid king to stumble back, hissing as he did, with his thorax pressing into some of his smaller minions, who backed away for their patriarch as he hissed once more, stumbling back into the fray quickly.
He rushed forwards and delivered a hard set of twin punches with his two front right legs before surging upwards with his entire upper body, slamming it into the underside of the Scorpion’s face, causing the fellow arachnid to stumble back himself. He literally shook off his dizziness after only a moment before going back to circling around the other deadly arthropod, all the while the soldiers looked on, still forming a circle around the two.
Yet these spiders weren’t just observers, as while the two larger arachnids circled around, waiting for the other to strike, one of the soldiers leapt up, flying towards the Scorpion. However, he was immediately slammed into the carpet by one of the beast’s claws, this attack caused a wet splattering noise, with the weaker creature’s body remaining limp.
The General reared up on his hind four legs, hissing as he did. This action was like a command for his minions, and in an instant, several more of the tiny buggers began surging forwards, leaping at the Scorpion in droves.
They were battered away by the beast’s claws and tail by the handful, with half a dozen being sent to the left, and another to the right, all of them being knocked aside like useless ragdolls. The Scorpion continued battering them aside, and charged right through the horde to tackle the General, who had begun to step back in an attempt to let his minions do all the work.
The two arachnids slammed into each other, and rolled around, right toward a massive, strange, leathery construct that dwarfed the two. Their rolling ceased when they slammed into one of the four wooden legs of the large, incomprehensibly huge object, which was a deep black color.
The General soon managed to shove the thrashing Scorpion off of him as he leaped to his eight feet, crawling underneath the large, bizarre construction. Dust clung to his hair as he made his way towards the very back of the tight-squeezing underside of the monolithic form, with the Scorpion hot on his thorax.
The odd angle at which the underside of the human’s weird device caused the Scorpion to flatten out more, slowing him down a bit as he tailed the General, who soon managed to squeeze completely under the tight gap and climb up the wall behind the construct. The spider king’s shadow-filled world was soon thrust back into the light as he climbed up the wall until the construction no longer blocked his vision.
Here he could look down and see in fine detail the strange, soft, cushiony nature of the very structure he’d just scurried under. He was only able to admire it for a mere moment before the Scorpion slammed a claw right under him, with it crashing through chunks of drywall as the spider jumped back, climbing higher up the wall.
The Scorpion himself continued climbing for a moment before he felt four punches slam into his face, courtesy of the General’s front limbs. This bash wound up causing the tailed arachnid to fall backward, slamming back-first onto the leathery black structure before he slid down and hit one of the larger cushions below. In front of the Scorpion was a few inches of the black cushion, followed by a small crevasse and then a secondary cushion beyond that.
He shook off the non-literal cobwebs that the prior blow had left him with as numerous little soldiers had scurried up onto the new arena, easily half a dozen of them. The Scorpion just slapped aside the closest one as he watched the General continue to hover about, sticking to the wall just a few feet above him in an annoying manner.
Regardless, the Scorpion pressed on, throwing another spider soldier off the great edge of the construct, before he reached the large crack between the two cushiony platforms. Another careless soldier leapt at him, only to get bashed downwards, with his abdomen getting caught between the cushions. The spider’s legs flailed wildly, for the blow did not kill him instantly.
With the squirming pest in his way, the Scorpion grabbed the much smaller spider by the face, before he gave a tug that expended a bit of effort. There was a loud crunch, and the spider had stopped moving, his hairy legs remaining at odd angles as more green blood leaked from where the Scorpion’s claws had grabbed him.
Yet, the Scorpion didn’t let go. He held onto the cephalothorax of the creature, and with another mighty tug, yanked it from his abdomen, leaving the lower half of the creature wedged between the two massive cushions.
With the Scorpion’s target dead, he began using his new macabre item like a weapon, batting away another two soldiers, sending them off the monolith and to their dooms as he looked up at the still wall-bound General. With a keen eye, the Scorpion brought back his claw and then surged it forwards, throwing the upper half of the dead soldier at his target as if it were a frisbee.
This action shocked the General, who had no time to get out of the way from his minion’s tossed corps before it slammed into him with enough force to both splatter and leave very, very small cracks in his chitinous armor.
As he wiped the green blood and spider-guts from his eight eyes, the General saw that the Scorpion had finished his journey across the two cushions and had climbed up onto the arm of the leathery structure.
With a hissing roar of fury, the spider king leapt at his opponent, flying over the cushions below and slamming into the Scorpion with extreme precision, causing the fellow arachnid to tumble back. He couldn’t keep his balance from the blow as he fell off of the arm of the structure and into a small, yet by comparison large basket.
He landed back first with a small crunch ringing out, before he ignored the pain and got to his many feet. The Scorpion bared his claws as he looked up from his plastic, wastebin prison, as standing atop the arm of the cushiony human furniture above was the General, along with one or two other soldiers who’d climbed back up the couch. And above even them, on the ceiling were more and more spiders, who scurried out of vents and crannies that filled the country home.
The Scorpion watched for a moment before a good dozen of the soldiers began to drop down on him, creating small thuds as they landed on their many feet, ready to try and strike. The cramped wastebasket had little maneuvering room for the many arachnids, thus the Scorpion began to strike at the soldiers with brutal blows. With one powerful claw swipe, he swatted away half a dozen of them, with their delicate bodies slamming into the rim of the wastebin.
The remaining soldiers and the Scorpion felt the basket actually rock from so many spiders slamming into the side of it, however, the Scorpion charged forwards, tackling three more soldiers into the same side of the bin he’d slammed the others into. His combined weight and the unsteady nature of the basket caused the large structure to buckle, giving way as it fell to the floor with a thundering crash! All the other soldiers watched from the safety of the ceiling, walls, and carpeted floors, with some of them standing on shaky legs from the sheer force at which the plastic bin had slammed into the ground.
An avalanche of papers, tissues, and plastic wrappings had fallen on top of the Scorpion and other soldiers, and a few of the remaining spiders scurried over, attempting to inspect the wreckage to see if the beast had survived the destructive ordeal.
One of them, through either the General’s commands or his own bravery, stepped forwards towards the impressive mount. He began to survey the destruction, eyeing it over as some of his front legs kicked at the wadded up tissue balls. Suddenly, he heard a hiss as the garbage pile began to shake violently and he was unable to scurry out of the way before a massive paper booklet was flipped, sending paper clips and plastic trash aside. The smaller soldier had no time to run as the magazine slammed down onto him, splattering him as the Scorpion revealed itself, now freed from his prison of the hottest gossip and fashion tips 1991 had to offer.
The horde, which had now scurried in closer, looked on with hundreds of eyes of shock, or at least one could assume, due to the lack of expression the arachnids had. Either way, the soldiers on the carpeted floor began to either back away, stand up on their hind legs in an intimidation display, or just ready themselves for combat. Had one had a birds-eye view of the ordeal, the once pristine, white shaggy carpet was now splotched with dozens upon dozens of brownish, eight-legged shapes.
The Scorpion bared his own claws and tail at the opponents, however, even with the sheer power he had, he began to tactically back himself up to a nearby wall. While one or two of the army arachnids leapt at him, he knocked aside without any trouble, splattering them as he felt his tail bump into a wall behind him. The pink wallpaper was gaudy, but it didn’t matter to the arachnid, who began to climb backwards up the wall at an impressive speed.
The horde below converged, climbing over themselves as they tried to make a break for the larger arthropod. However, the Scorpion used his stinger like a spear to keep them at bay as he advanced further up the wall, being an impressive two or three feet off the ground before he turned and scurried over across the pink landscape.
With his sights mainly set upon what was in front of him rather than what lies below, he saw several more creepy crawlies charging him down, only for them to get bitch-slapped away, sending them careening off the pink monolith. He continued on, running across a 90-degree bend in the corner before he then rushed forwards more, a small horde of spiders trailing him as he took another bend.
The scenery around the Scorpion changed as he continued on. It went from a drab pink with shaggy carpet to a more warm, brownish coloration, with a hardwood floor several feet below. In this new room, there was no television or massive seating structure. No, instead it was filled with strange utensils, and a large, wooden, four-legged table.
The Scorpion himself didn’t acknowledge these accommodations all that much as he turned back to the pack of several dozen arachnid troops charging him down. With the wall behind him being cleared of soldiers, he was able to basically charge forwards into the horde of arthropods.
The General’s troops of course, didn’t completely expect this changing of tactics, and five of them were immediately sent tumbling towards the ground, splattering roughly against the hardwood flooring as the Scorpion began using his reach to his advantage, sending more and more handfuls of the spiders plummeting to their demise.
He surged forward, snipping the eight legs off of one without issue, before punching another with enough force to splatter the arthropod’s upper body into giblets, before he spun, using his tail like a whip to down another half a dozen with ease. However, by this point, the Scorpion was fully focused on what was in front of him, and he didn’t notice a loose air vent nearby slowly begin to move and get shoved aside as more troops began to enter the kitchen warzone.
There were dozens, if not hundreds more of them pouring out of the new opening, and it wasn’t long before their furry bodies began to converge towards the blood and guts-covered spider-slayer. One of them soon surged forwards and leaped at the deadly beast, only to get swatted downwards by the Scorpion’s tail.
He turned his vision backwards for a moment, seeing the newly arrived soldiers. He gave a hiss as he effortlessly impaled a charging spider on one of his claws without even looking back to the other horde of arachnids. Of course, now that he was looking away, he didn’t completely notice as three spiders snuck up on the floor below. They quietly crept up the wall towards the distracted Scorpion as he dealt with the two groups at once.
When they were sure they were close enough to strike leaped up at him from below…
(Music Stops)
They didn’t even notice as a large string of web latched onto the brownish wall head, and they couldn’t expect what happened next…
The trio was slammed against the wall by a much larger arachnid. A spider! But this one was massive. She towered over the other arachnids with ease and was far less exotic than them.
The Scorpion and the horde stopped their fighting for a moment, feeling the rumbling of the floor-er… wall, as the larger arachnid crushed the trio between her bulk effortlessly. They stared at her for a solid few seconds before realization set in.
This beast was a Deadly Creature as well!
She was the fellow captive Tarantula that the human youngling had captured along with the Scorpion! So many days the Scorpion had hissed challenges at her across the room and through his plastic prison, and yet, here she was, having just crushed a trio of spiders against the kitchen wall. To top it off, the larger arthropod also held a fourth soldier’s body in her fangs, sucking the life-giving fluids from the twitching corpse as she looked upon the carnage.
She soon tossed aside her half-eaten meal and reared up, hissing a challenge at whoever dared approach!
The soldiers, not being the most self-preserving spiders on earth, hissed back, and began to charge at her in droves, their attention turning away from the formerly surrounded Scorpion!
The General witnessed the whole ordeal from the floor below, surrounded by his minions. He hissed in what might’ve been misconstrued as an annoyance as he himself began to slowly creep up the spider-covered wall.
As the spider mastermind continued his slow trek, the other two larger arachnids were making short work of his army. They were barely able to attack the Scorpion, and yet now, the Tarantula herself was crushing his troops to and fro beneath her bulkier legs, stomping on them like bugs beneath a boot, fittingly enough.
With her distracting half of the horde, the Scorpion crushed and swatted aside the other half without a single hint of effort. Dozens were tossed to the ever corpse filled flooring below, painting the wood green and brown with spider guts and chunks. He picked up one and slammed it into another, before throwing the limp soldier’s corpse at the Tarantula, who shockingly caught it in her fangs.
She nibbled on her meal as she sprayed down a group of approaching soldiers with her webbing, making them back off as they were blinded by her durable silk. They struggled in an attempt to get it off, but they had little time to even do that as they were launched to the floor or crushed under the female spider’s bulk.
The Scorpion and the Tarantula even soon found themselves back to back, or rather, abdomen to abdomen as they were swatting aside soldier after soldier. Someone leaps at the two only to either get shot down by a well-placed web blast, or just brutally sliced apart mid-jump by the Scorpion’s claws.
Had they not been on a wall, the two would likely be standing on a pile of bodies by now, but due to their vertical nature, the pile was several feet below, being almost an inch high at this point from the number of spider bodies that had piled up!
This continued for a little longer before the Tarantula herself had an idea. The feminine eight-legged freak swatted aside a soldier, before turning her abdomen to the Scorpion. She shot out a well placed web line, which hooked onto the Scorpion’s left claw.
At first the male arthropod looked at his web-coated claw with what one could assume to be confusion. However, as he watched the female spider produce more and more silk, he realized that this wasn’t some type of sneak attack.
This was a rope.
The soldiers had absolutely no chance to expect what was coming next. The only warning they got was the Tarantula’s sudden movements, twisting her body to the side and pivoting it in a circular motion before they saw a 10-gram, exoskeleton-coated wrecking ball fly their way.
Had they possessed the capacity to scream, the troops very well might’ve. However, in their current state, they could only turn to flee. Most of them didn’t make it out of the way as the bulky mass of the Scorpion slammed into them, with him clawing and swatting at stragglers and would-be escapees while his eight-legged “ally” swung him around like a helicopter blade.
And much like a blade, he cleaved greatly into the horde, using a mixture of his natural bulk and the shocking strength of the web to tear through many more oncoming (or outgoing) soldiers.
He soon began using his own momentum and weight to swing more freely from the Tarantula’s web line, which continued to expand as her spinneret produced more fluid. Thus, the Scorpion was able to do actions like running along the wall to build up momentum, before leaping outwards and flying back in to slam into a pack of soldiers with enough force to leave tiny cracks in the paint-coated drywall. The Tarantula herself did continue fighting off some of the stragglers, but her new wrecking ball took care of most of them.
However, all good things must come to an end, and, as the Scorpion’s momentum ceased, his movement became slower and a little more stagnant. Just as he was about to lean back into the wall to scurry across it and regain his speed, a large, eight-legged form tackled him, Their combined weight snapped the Tarantula’s webline, sending the two large arachnids plummeting downwards, flailing all the while.
In his free fall, the Scorpion realized that the beast that had slammed was none other than the General himself, and even in what could be imminent death, the Scorpion snapped his claws at the spider mastermind, only to be met with air.
It felt like years, but it was only a few seconds before the two fell into a great vat of water and grime! This impact caused a loud, wet SPLOOSH! to ring out across the kitchen.
The General emerged first, water coating his form as he barely managed to cling onto a large, circular, porcelain tray. He climbed up onto it as chunks of grease and grime coated his hairy body, while he looked around at the stagnant, putrid water before him.
Particles of what looked like meat and veggies floated up out of the murky depths, but the spider was unable to see much else. He tensed his body, being ready for anything as he began turning around, slowly making a circle as he scanned each and every corner of the box-like metal prison he’d found himself in.
In one corner stuck out a great monolithic lasagna tray, coated with leftover spices, ground meat, and tomato paste. Suds slid down in a lazy manner. In another corner was a large plastic handle of some great human tool, with the head of it being below the greenish surface of the putrid pool.
As the spider turned around, beginning another 360-degree rotation, he didn’t notice as a large, jagged stinger slowly began to emerge from the water. Scorpions had ruled the ocean waves long before their land counterparts scurried about beneath human feet. This specimen’s aquatic adeptness was a surprise to be sure, but a welcome one.
The beast’s tail approached his prey, poison building in the tip for a brutal strike. When he was no more than a few inches away, the exoskeletal monster leaped from the calm, swampy, lasagna-filled waters to strike!
The fury of 400 million years of evolution lunged from the water like a hungry shark, and the spider had only a fraction of a second to leap aside, latching onto the lasagna tray as the Scorpion’s stinger stuck the porcelain plate with enough force to leave a large chip in it.
The Scorpion pulled his tail from the gash with a loud crack ringing out from the chipped plate before he turned towards his foe, his pincers clicking with fury as he reared up, ready to strike yet again. The General himself tensed up, not ready to die here.
The two leaped at one another, flying several inches over the water before they slammed into one another mid-air. However, the sheer weight of the Scorpion had decided this impact, and the General was launched back, slamming abdomen first into the same pasta tray he’d sought refuge in before. The Scorpion of course, took his chance to wail on the spider’s softer underside, treating it like a punching bag as each blow produced a loud thwapping noise while simultaneously slamming the General’s head into the lasagna tray.
The Scorpion soon felt the powerful spider shove him back, before he was grabbed onto by four of the beast’s legs. He then was basically picked up and slammed into the pasta tray as the General reversed the pinning tactic, now having the Scorpion pinned between a metal and a pissed off arachnid-place.
The General was a lot less flashy than his opponent, going for only a few jabs with his eight legs, pummeling the Scorpion’s abdomen and head before he went for a bite. However, before those razor-sharp fangs could pierce the arachnid’s flesh, the Scorpion grabbed onto them, one pincer for each claw as he struggled to hold his foe back, his body tensing with all its might.
As the duo struggled, trying to prevent the fatal blow from occurring, the Tarantula herself continued tossing aside and killing the innumerable soldiers that spewed from every nook and cranny in the house. However, as she threw them aside by the dozens, she didn’t particularly pay attention to where they landed.
Thus, when a spider’s corpse slammed into the switch just above the sink, not one creature in the house thought any different of it…
Of course, that was before the Scorpion and the General heard rumbling from down below. The two actually stopped their struggle for a moment as they heard the vrmming sound below the murky waters.
The swamp itself remained calm for a moment, with food particles lazily floating atop the still lake. However, moments later, the vrmming got louder. Still yet, the water slowly began to bubble up as something seemingly stirred from the depths below. It got louder, and louder, and yet louder, bit by bit, until!
CLORG-CRUNCH!
The water in the sink became a whirlpool, catching the two arachnids off guard enough for them to cease their fight and fall back into the swirling mass!
It was a sight, witnessing the vortex hoover up all the water that once filled the sink. The two flailed their many combined legs as they broke apart from each other, ending the struggle without a victor, as they attempted to grab at whatever they could to survive the endless onslaught of whirling water.
The General clung to the empty pasta tray while the Scorpion spun amidst the water and soon slammed into a porcelain plate once more, this one being pristine as he clung onto it for dear life. Nothing seemed to stop the whirring death hole. A large, yellow, porous brick fell into it, and was merely ripped apart, with chunks of the yellow utensil floating back to the spinning surface, only to get sucked back down once more.
The water was at half its depth now, and the Scorpion was still no better for it. He watched as the large, flat-headed plastic utensil succumbed to the waves, and fell toward the abyss. However, as the handle of the plastic spatula met the whirring metal teeth below, it caused the object to launch upwards, almost like a golf club.
Of course, the flat, blunt head of it slammed into none other than the Scorpion, sending the wet arachnid flying from the whirring death pool, and off over the countertop, with him slamming into the cheap marbling with a loud PLAP sound.
After taking a moment to shake himself back to full alertness, the soaked arachnid soon hopped to his feet as several of the soldiers crawled down the walls, hopping onto the countertop to meet him. He stood about a full foot away from them, as they all lined up like a pack of hyenas, with them ready to charge.
The Scorpion himself of course didn’t back down, and as his foes readied themselves, he charged them down outright, bashing through the horde like a bullet train. He carved them up as if his claws were hot knives slicing into butter.
The beast snipped one in half, before impaling another on his stinger. With the twitching corpse of the arachnid still stuck to his spear-like tail tip, he went ahead and stung another troop, impaling both of them on his tail at the same time. He held them in the air for only a moment before throwing them aside so they slammed into the other troops with a wet crunch.
He continued fighting his way forwards, crushing, slicing, and dicing his way through the crowd. Eventually, the countertop became the metal flooring of the top of an electric stove. At first, this change of scenery wasn’t exactly noticed, however, as more and more troops climbed over themselves to assist their brethren, some of them moved over the knobs that controlled the stove’s burners.
None of them began to really notice until the few that were on the stove’s burners hissed, their legs began to burn, and while a few of them scurried back off the four scorching circles that now dotted the square ring, the less lucky ones felt their feet begin to melt to the sheer heat of the stove, hissing and gurgling in pain as they were stuck, cooked inside their exoskeletons in the same vein as one would cook one of their sea-dwelling cousins.
Smoke began to emerge from several of the corpses, but the Scorpion himself was too busy fighting across the warming stovetop to notice just yet. He saw as the four metal burners became a hot glowing orange around him, and, using his environment to his advantage, he knocked an oncoming trio of soldiers back first onto a nearby burner.
They all hissed in pain as they began to stick to the burner, unable to move as they melted to it, steam and smoke rising from their bodies as the Scorpion continued on, bashing his way off of the stovetop and through the ever-thinning spider army, leaving the smoldering corpses behind him.
The beast fought his way through the horde over to a large, gray box-like structure, he scurried his way behind it, giving himself a moment of cover as he looked upon the metallic, rectangular-shaped human device. A cable ran from one end to it over into a nearby electrical socket, though the Scorpion of course likely had no concept of what the device or electricity itself even was.
Nevertheless, as about four or five members of the spider horde rounded the bend to get at the Scorpion, he quickly grabbed at the cord, holding it up in front of himself in a defensive manner just as one of the brasher soldiers leaped at him.
The plastic of the electric cable couldn’t stand up to the spider’s oversized fangs, and the little bugger chomped through them, biting into the wiring underneath. At first, this wouldn’t have been a problem, however, moments later, the soldier’s body began to twitch, as a surge of sparks shot out from the wiring, causing the Scorpion to let go and step back, as he was momentarily flashbanged by the electrical surge.
The spider’s corpse, of course, was so overloaded with electricity, it continued twitching as more sparks shot out. One lucky one landed on the very flammable hairs of the small creepy crawly, and after only a few moments, its body was set aflame, creating a barrier between the Scorpion and the brigade of beasts.
The Scorpion himself retreated from the hord once more, as sparks continued flying from the now burning spider-corpse. Of course, these sparks flew all over the place, ranging from the hard, wooden flooring, to the nearby paper towel rack.
As the Scorpion ascended up the relatively cleared-off wall, below him several flammable materials began to burst into flames along with the spider’s charred corpse. The countertop itself wasn’t flammable, but the wooden cabinets both above and below it sure were, and this fact wasn’t helped as these same wooden cabinets contained several bottles of alcohol, ranging from whiskey to vodka. The Scorpion forced his way inside the same loosened air vent from earlier as the kitchen’s inferno continued to spread…
The Scorpion clawed aside a large patch of webbing as he splattered a soldier with ease. He’d expected there to be the obvious cobwebs coating the interior of the vent, but this stuff was strong, making him put all his effort into ripping through it or swatting it aside, with the occasional soldier not helping matters.
Still, it wasn’t long before he saw a faint shimmer of light ahead. It illuminated a trio of soldiers who stood between him and the other end of the vent. As some whisps of smoke billowed around the Scorpion, the beast gave a hiss and, with that, he charged down the trio.
A loud KA-THUNK rattled the loose vent covering, as green guts and goop began to leak out the other side. Moments later, the blood splattered Scorpion himself shoved it loose enough to have an opening to crawl through. He climbed downwards, finding himself in a brightly colored, blue toned bedroom. He took a moment to step off from the vent and onto a bookshelf, observing the area. A small, old CRTV set played random brightly colored cartoons in the corner. Aside from that there was a small desk sat below him and a bed with a blue quilt draped over it several feet beyond that.
The Scorpion himself began to try and survey this room further, and thus he climbed up onto a nearby book that sat precariously on the edge of the cliff-like bookshelf. The Scorpion was careful not to trip as he stepped closer, and closer to the edge.
From underneath, he heard the sound of eight or- sixteen, no, easily thirty-two pattering legs. And sure enough, he watched as a quartet of soldiers climbed up onto the large, leatherbound book he was stationed upon! He quickly swatted one away, sending it careening to its death as he began to fight off the others.
Given his brutality, the uneven match’s winner was fairly obvious, however, as he crushed the final spider between his claws, he heard a hiss behind him, and quickly turned, only for him to feel the thick, hefty book underneath him get shoved outwards towards the edge of the shelf.
If his eyes could widen, they would’ve done it in shock as he saw the General there, seemingly having snuck up on the tailed arachnid to cheaply shove him off! The Scorpion’s less agile body didn’t give him the ability to jump towards his foe, and instead, the ground underneath gave way as both he and the book went tumbling off the shelf towards the desk below.
The Scorpion slammed into the edge of the desk with a loud cracking sound as the book itself slammed to the ground below with a thunderous BOOM!
The Scorpion lay still for a moment, hissing in pain as soldiers began climbing up to the shakey arachnid who barely clawed himself back to his feet, with several noticeable cracks on his exoskeleton.
However, even though the arachnid was quite injured, he soon continued fighting, swatting away the closest soldier, before he looked around at the desk space he’d landed on. That’s when he saw it!
A mighty, wooden spear tipped with a sharpened point made from some type of durable-looking stone. The bright yellow weapon had a strange-looking symbol on it that symbol being; “2”
Regardless of the odd markings, the Scorpion quickly grabbed the large spear and readied it in between his claws. An unlucky soldier leaped at him, only to immediately get impaled by the sharp weapon. After then readying himself, the Scorpion leveled his spear and charged down the other spiders, all the while the soldier’s twitching body was impaled on his yellow spear.
The horde was lined up almost perfectly, like a bowling ball getting a perfect strike, the Scorpion rammed forwards at remarkably fast speeds, impaling another spider with enough force that the spear’s tip jutted out its head, allowing it to impale another. It was like watching a train slam into a bunch of defenseless civilians as the monstrous arachnid plowed through the entire group.
Only a small handful was left unimpaled on the spear, which was now looking like a large kebab. With the tip having chipped off, the Scorpion began swinging the green blood-smeared weapon around like a war club, smashing another spider before batting one into the wall nearby with enough force to splatter it.
The fighting force of well over a dozen was gone in moments, thanks to the mighty pencil-equipped arthropod! However, this victory was short-lived, as suddenly, the General leaped down from above the Scorpion. With the speed of travel from atop the bookshelf he had jumped from, the arachnid king slammed into his arthropod foe with enough force to crack both of their exoskeletons and send them flying off the desk and down to the floor, with the Scorpion’s pencil being left behind.
Of course, he didn’t have time to mourn his weapon’s loss as he felt the fury of eight legs slamming down onto him with the force one would expect of a professional boxer. He would’ve grunted if he had vocal chords. However, he just settled for hissing as the General picked him up with his four front legs.
Before the Scorpion could struggle free from the spider’s hold, he was tossed aside, flying well over a foot before he slammed down, and rolled along the hardwood flooring and underneath the massive bed, casting himself in the dark, dust-coated flooring that laid just below the fluffy mattress above.
(Music Stops)
The Scorpion laid there limply, as the General slowly began approaching. The spider king could rush down his opponent right here, and yet he took his time, his eight legs moving in a frightening, methodical manner.
As this happened, his opponent tried standing up, getting his feet under him with just enough force to lift himself a few millimeters off the ground. However, the Scorpion collapsed back down with a barely noticeable thud. He laid limply, his tail flat against the ground as the General approached even more, his fangs bared for the killing blow.
However, as the Scorpion stared down his fellow arachnid’s approach, another arthropod got in the way of the beast’s fuzzy vision. It was smaller, much smaller, and a bright green coloration.
A… A leaf cricket!
The much smaller animal made a chirp, staring at the Scorpion for only a moment before the large of the two reached out a clawed hand and grabbed the green creature by its head. It had no time to even flap its wings as the Scorpion took a bite out of it, decapitating it before the beast scarfed down the rest of the impromptu meal!
On the television set nearby, a familiar tune rang out as a sailor devoured a can of his spinach.
The General saw this, and immediately began charging at the Scorpion, however, as he approached, he was met with a powerful uppercut from one of his foes claws, with it hitting the underside of his abdomen with enough force to slam the top of his body into the wooden mattress support that laid a few inches above the squabbling duo.
Before he even hit the ground, the Scorpion slammed his tail into the General like it were a baseball bat, sending the eight-legged freak flying several feet backward and out from under the bed. He flew back into a tiled floor-covered room as he slammed into a large, ceramic tub with a loud CLUNK!
The General slid down and slammed against the tiled ground, hissing all the while as he barely got to his feet. One of his far back legs was so severely damaged by the impact that it hung limply at his side, barely attached to the now seven legged freak.
With another hiss of concentration, he turned and began climbing up the wall of the tub, trying to get to higher ground as the Scorpion himself approached.
The arthropod bruiser seemed far more determined now. There was no more troops in his way, and he even ignored the smoke that began to spew into the bedroom from the door and air vent behind himself. Now he was solely focused on the death of the monarch in front of him.
He himself climbed onto the lip of the slightly damp tub, looking for his foe with determination. However, the Scorpion himself was caught up in a small patch of webbing. He looked down, trying to get his feet unstuck before he looked back upwards. He could only hiss in surprise as he saw the General on the other side of the tub, four of his seven legs perched upon a large, bright pink bar of soap.
The larger arachnid’s eyes would’ve widened once more, however, he has just left hissing as his monarch opponent did a kickoff, sending the slick bar of soap down the side of the tub with him riding it with shocking grace. It was like watching a professional skater ramp off of a halfpipe as he flew upwards, perfectly slamming him and his sud-covered ride into the Scorpion. It felt like the arthropod brawler had been hit by a speeding car!
The two arachnids and the bar of soap didn’t just stop once the slam happened of course, oh no! Instead, the two flew backwards, careening over the opened toilet and right onto the window sill.
The General’s experience with jumping caused him to land almost graciously, as his opponent hit the ground roughly and rolled off the wooden sill, barely catching himself with his left claw.
However, the General was done with the games himself, and with a lung, slammed down his entire weight onto the weak joint gap between the Scorpion’s claw and “forearm.”
The larger arachnid hissed in pain, as he bitch-slapped his opponent with an uppercut, sending the General onto his back as the Scorpion used his moment of reprieve to clamber onto the sill once more. As he got back onto his feet, he could see dead ahead that an inferno began to envelop the room, with the door to the bedroom soon crumbling as fire and smoke seeped inside.
Even the General noticed this, and perhaps as some form of remembrance or some natural survival instinct, he turned away from both the flames and the Scorpion and began to climb up the exterior of the house, leaving the injured opponent to try his best to nurse his sore claw back into working order.
The blows the General had given him were enough to nearly rip the left claw from the rest of his limb, however, his sturdier body meant it just barely hung on, albeit he could barely operate the more delicate pincer segment anymore. This new weakness gave the Scorpion a plan, and with what one could call a hiss of vengeance, he followed the arachnid monarch up the side of the house and shortly onto the roof.
The full moon illuminated the house and the surrounding countryside as the Scorpion crested over the gutter and onto the shingled roof. The General lay ahead, finally turning back around to hiss at his pesky opponent. In the faint distance, there were bright red and blue flashing sirens as the two Deadly Creatures continued their battle for dominance.
The General charged, rushing forwards to deliver four punches to his foe, only to be met with a sock to the face from the Scorpion’s stronger claw, before he got a second overhead slam from the weaker one.
The Scorpion hissed in pain as his own blood leaked down onto the spider’s face, blinding a few of his eyes, though not enough to stop him from tackling into the deadly arachnid, slamming his bulk into him once more. Sending the Scorpion flying backwards over a foot, where he slammed into the brick and mortar of the chimney.
More cracks decorated the Scorpion’s natural chitin as he got back up, ignoring the pain to watch as the General charged him again. He dodged out of the way, letting the spider slam his face into the brick wall, dazing him long enough for the Scorpion to launch him a few dozen inches with a tailwhip, causing the spider to land on his back over a foot or two away.
The arachnid monarch got to his seven feet after only a moment as the Scorpion approached him. Though the warrior’s feet weren’t exactly steady, he readied himself to continue the fight.
Before the two could fight though, the roof beneath their feet rumbled before between two, a large section of the roof suddenly crumbled, shaking as violently as an earthquake as it gave way. A wall of fire spouted up between the two, as it seemed the flames had reached the attic now. However, the Scorpion had already made his way around the large crater, and the moonlight and fire illuminated the roof even more clearly as he charged down the spider General, his own blood leaking from his damaged claw.
The General, for his part, waited patiently, and as his opponent got just a few inches away, he quickly turned his abdomen towards the Scorpion and shook his back legs over it violently!
The confused Scorpion got a faceful of the spider’s defensive cloud of sharp, prickling hairs, making him stumble during his charge! This allowed the spider king to in turn wail on him, as he grabbed the Scorpion’s upper head, holding him in place somewhat as he slammed blow after blow into his opponent, backing him up towards the raging flame-filled hole just a few inches away!
He soon delivered a powerful double-legged right hook that sent the right back to the very edge hole, with his claws even limply dangling down into it as he lay there. The General, tired of playing with his food, quickly approached his opponent. However, as he soon readied himself for the bite from his oversized fangs, the Scorpion’s sturdier right claw grabbed at something just out of his vision…
As he surged forwards, a cloud of heated ash and singing dust was thrown into his face, having been scooped up by his arachnid foe. The General hissed loudly in pain, stepping back for a moment as his front limbs tried to clean up his eyes.
However, the second he finished wiping away the grime, he was face to face with the Scorpion, who had his left, blood-dripping claw raised above his head, ready to strike...
CRUNCH!
The Scorpion brought it down on the beast’s head with enough force to impale his wounded claw completely through it and out the bottom of his underbelly, piercing the spider’s brain without a doubt.
The Scorpion wasn’t done yet though, he twisted his bleeding “wrist” and there was a loud-
SNAP!
He’d broken off his own damaged claw, leaving it impaled in the head of the spider General, who was now leaking blood of his own as he backed away a few inches on shaky feet. He stood still for a moment, as it suddenly started to rain, with bright red trucks sitting below the roof, their red and blue lights illuminating the front yard along with the raging inferno.
Blood poured down onto the spider’s eight eyes, nearly blinding him. However, he still had enough anger in him to see the vague outline of the Scorpion, and, with one last hiss of anger, he charged him down!...
…Only for the Scorpion to dodge to the side, letting his opponent fly into the pillar of flame and into the inferno below! He let out a screeching noise as he plummeted down, realizing his mistake only too late!
The Scorpion heard a dull THUD, and finally went limp for a moment, seemingly relaxing himself atop the shingled roof. After a moment to catch his breath, he slowly crept towards the burning edge of the hole, looking down in on it with an unsure nature.
However, just as he peaked over the edge, he was forced to back up as the burning General leapt out at him with a loud hiss! Even with his body in flames and his head impaled, the spider king’s life wasn’t squashed out!
The Scorpion backed up by a solid foot as the General soon let loose one last hiss, charging at him before leaping towards his ever-so-unkillable opponent!
However, the Scorpion was ready…
Shink.
The spider king’s brain, which was barely working, to begin with, had difficulty processing what was happening.
He felt the cooling wind on his body clashing with the stinging sensation of the ever-lapping fire. However, when he expected to impact something… he didn’t.
Most of his eyes weren’t really working anymore, thanks to both brain damage and the fire, however, with the last remaining bastion of vision he had, that being his bottom left eye, he could watch as the underside of his abdomen flew ahead in front of him, towards the quickly approaching ground.
The General had no way to realize fully that he’d been cut in half before his burning body slammed into the ground with enough force to splatter into singing, charred spider giblets.
This all happened as the house collapsed into rubble behind him, his nest being destroyed by the relentless flames…
(Music Stops)
The sun crested above the countryside, bringing down a faint, shimmering light on the wet, charred remains of the burnt-out house sat in a heap of black, charcoal-like rubble. Nothing remained other than a few stray support beams that stuck up from them. Stood just a few dozen feet from the once flaming wreckage was a firetruck, police cruiser, and ambulance among other emergency services.
As the firefighters began to pick through the rubble, checking for any casualties, a work truck soon rolled up. On the side doors was the image of a portly exterminator squishing a large spider underfoot, with the bold letters overhead reading “Bugs-B-Gone.” Underneath was the name “DELBERT McCLINTOCK”
The door opened quickly as a large man stepped out, decked with full exterminator gear, he shut his truck behind him as he walked over to the charred heap on the ground. Some of the firefighters looked at him as he spoke.
“Gentlemen, I was told that this house has a spider problem.” He exclaimed while an officer stepped over.
“More like had. Buddy, there’s nothing left for them to crawl through. The boys saw some scurrying away from the house while it was burning, but so far, we’ve not seen a peep from the little bastards.” He explained.
“The king? Surely you found the big one, right?” Delbert asked, as he walked around the rubble’s perimeter. “We don’t need a repeat of last year.”
“Uh… I think.”
“Uh huh, think?” Asked the professional exterminator as they continued around the sidelines of what was once a nice quiet home, now with the officer taking the lead.
“Hard to tell, isn’t much of it left.” He said casually, waving Delbert over as they walked a little longer, before coming to a stop.
Sat in front of the two just a foot away was a small, circular patch of burnt grass, and in the center of it was what likely was once a spider, though now it looked like a few dead twigs, as its lower abdomen was gone.
“And the rest of it…” Delbert asked himself looking for a moment, before spotting a few feet away from the charred ground was another black, burned grass patch, with what seemed to be the lower half of the arachnid in it.
“Someone must’ve got to the little bastard before we arrived. But I didn’t see anyone on scene.” Said the officer.
Delbert got down on one knee for a moment, looking at the charred insect with squinted, examining eyes behind his safety glasses.
“Something, more like it.” He spoke quietly.
“What?”
“I don’t think a person would’ve done this. Something strange must’ve occurred.”
“What, like another spider killing it?” Asked the officer with a snicker.
“No, spiders don’t have the capacity to rip their prey in half like this.” Delbert said, getting back to his feet as he dusted himself off. “Dunno what, but it must’ve got to him before we did. Lucky us.”
The two walked along for a moment, with the exterminator soon stopping as he looked at a nearby patch of grass. He stood still as a wolf hunting its prey as the cop soon spoke.
“What is it, see one?”
Delbert soon shook it off. “Nah. Seemed too big for one of those soldiers or whatever the big one had.” He continued on walking as he spoke. “Maybe just another varmint pillaging about.”
The earth-quaking footsteps soon subsided, as the Scorpion rested on the damp, earthy ground. He stood still in a bushel of tall grass for a moment, before he noticed the giants were gone. After a little longer, the one-clawed creature slowly scurried off, blood no longer leaking from his stump.
As he walked along the earthen fields, he noted its extreme difference from his desert home. Yet, he continued on for a good while, before his eyes picked up on a keen detail. He looked up (or as best as a scorpion could look up anyways) and spotted in one of the lower branches of a tree a large, hairy spider.
The Tarantula stared down at the Deadly Creature for a moment. She was still as a statue all the while. The Scorpion himself just gazed up at her, not moving an inch himself. There they sat, looking at one another as the gentle breeze of the country cooled the air around them.
What seemed like an hour was actually only a few seconds, before the Spider herself finally turned away and leapt off, spitting a webline out of her spinneret before she zipped off into the forest and out of sight.
The Scorpion just continued on, soon cresting a hill where the grass cleared. He looked out upon the vast expanse of the Californian wilderness, and, after only a moment to pause as he looked at his stump where his powerful claw once was, trekked on ahead.
At last, he was free…
Aftermath Screen:
The Scorpion scuttles off into the wilderness before burrowing itself underneath a large strand of grass. Meanwhile, the police continue to investigate the burned-down house, coming across thousands upon thousands of spider corpses.
UL: "You know, this kind of thing is shocking to Americans but to Australians, this is just an average Tuesday for them. Right, Mettaton?... Mettaton?"
Mettaton, on the phone: "Mhm, mhm. Yes. Oh, I see. Alright, take care darling."
UL: "Uh... who was that?"
Mettaton: "...It was Muffet."
UL: "Oh shit, what she say?"
Mettaton: "She said that we just made a powerful enemy and has a surprise waiting for us."
UL: "...I don't feel safe."
Mettaton: "Neither do I, so let's wrap this up before something bad REALLY happens."
UL: "Righto. Anyways, this match-up was pretty clear cut if we're gonna be honest. The General certainly wasn't without his advantages here. His webbing allowed him to control the battlefield and serve as an obstacle for The Scorpion, along with allowing him better mobility and quick getaways. That and there was also his venom, which should have been his ace in the hole considering that it's able to near-instantly flatline fully-grown adults."
Mettaton: "You'd think that but the problem is that Scorpion was way too tough for the General to sink his fangs into. Recall that gas station explosion that the Scorpion survived, not only did he come out alive, but he also came out virtually unscathed. Alongside that, The Scorpion had battled against other venomous animals before including other Scorpions, Tarantula Hawks, and even Black Widows! Granted, the General's venom is still vastly more lethal than all of them put together but it's still worth mentioning."
UL: "Now the General does have his own spider army to rely on and he could just simply wait by while his soldiers whittle down the Scorpion's stamina and then come in for a killing blow. But here's a problem with that, not only could none of the spiders be able to get past the Scorpion's thick exoskeleton, but there's the fact that The Scorpion has not only been used to being outnumbered, which ALSO includes venomous spiders mind you, but he could also just simply eat one of The General's minions and heal up. Considering how many there are, The General was pretty much offering a free health buffet for his opponent."
Mettaton: "There was another thing that the General lacked while the Scorpion excelled at, that being combat skills. The General did pose a nationwide threat to the American wildlife but you must know that most of victims of the General and his arachnid army were unsuspecting victims or animals who didn't fight back and when they did, their forces were decimated. The Scorpion, on the other hand, had battled numerous animals that had fought back and came out on top, some of which were much bigger than him which also includes fellow arachnids like the Tarantuala, who fought a Rattlesnake and rode it like a mechanical bull!~"
UL: "So, The General was certainly for a nasty surprise when he realized this cat had claws. Speaking of which, The Scorpion's claws and pincers were far more effective weapons as they provided more versatility as well as options for close and ranged combat. The only real weapon the Venezuelan spider had were his mere fangs but even that wasn't going to cut it."
Mettaton: "And what ultimately put the nail in the General's coffin, apart Jeff Daniels, was the Scorpion wiped the floor with him in experience and combat skills. While it's unknown how long The General had been in the Venezuelan jungles, it's still noted that he had spent most of his time inside the coffin of a photographer. Whereas, the Scorpion spent its whole entire life in the Sonoran desert, fighting off various predators just to stay alive and he certainly has a lot to show for it."
UL: "While it's unknown for how long the General had been alive, his entire life was spent in the Venezuelan jungles. While at first, that might sound impressive, remember, he and his species were considered to be at the top of the food chain, with his entire species stuck in one deep, wildlife-filled hole. He himself was the first and likely only arachnid to see what life was like outside of his own little world. Even if we were to assume that he'd fought with other spiders, various insects and smaller pests/varmints on the Jungle floor or the canopy, he likely wouldn't and would have had his minions do the dirty work anyway, there was nothing in that valley that could give him any true problems. "
Mettaton: "Think about it, he and his kind had been the dominant lifeforms there for hundreds, thousands, or even millions of years. They had no natural predators and very little contact with humans. Thus, there was no way he had proper combat and CQC experience with something on his own level, even if we put him to be around 10 or so years old, which is the upper life expectancy for a spider. Compare that, if you will, to the Scorpion's life. See, realize this: Deadly Creatures took place over the course of, at best, a DAY."
UL: "Likely even less than that, given it definitely started in the early morning, and the end of the game was that same night, making it less than a 24-hour period. The Scorpion fought through dozens, upon dozens of insects and creepy beasties ranging from beetles, spiders, lizards, rats, and Struggs himself."
Mettaton: "Even if the rest of his life was barely a fraction of that kind of excitement, assuming he's only about a year old, which is the minimum maturation cycle for a scorpion, going by google anyways, just imagine all of the shit he's fought off. Like, he wasn't even remotely shocked or surprised by anything in the game, and, if you allow me to go indulge in a tiny bit of fanon, his interactions with the Tarantula likely weren't the first ones he's had. "
UL: "Just imagine that, a lifetime of fighting off every possible predator in the Sonoran desert, killing dozens, hundreds of pests in CQC with nothing but his claws, tail, and general badassery. And there's been quite possibly even more than that! There was no way in hell that a few years in a relatively "safe" jungle filled with your own kind already at the top of the food chain and 3 or so months in a random barn dining on crickets could compare to that kind of hardship, especially given what we weren't shown off-screen."
Mettaton: "Even if we had assumed the General could actually pierce his exoskeleton, after all of that... It didn't matter, because he'd never land a hit most of the time unless he got very, very lucky. His webs might've been enough to trip up or even completely trap the Scorpion, but he'd likely not have the time to set them up unless he was able to plan out a trap ahead of time."
UL: "Indeed, the Scorpion would be smart enough to know not to get bit in a fight, as even though he can endure being bit, poisoned, and far more damaging effects, he's the kind of creature to dodge and counter his target's blows, so he'd absolutely not just stand there and take a bite from the General, at least not without the General getting his legs ripped off, or his guts bashed out, or his brain smashed in..."
Mettaton: "Yeah, there was no way that his durability was keeping pace with even a few of the Scorpion's blows, even with his feat of surviving being lit on fire for a short time, he would've absolutely died from a heavy blow from a human, or, going by the video game adaptation, (yes, that's a real thing) he could've been squashed under a heavy boot in one go, not too similar from any other spider. "
UL: "Yes, and compare that to how the Scorpion endured a good stomping from Strugg, who put all of his strength into that mighty boot. Delbert, even in the film, crunched one of the General's soldiers underfoot. Even with John Goodman's heftier frame, the stomp from Struggs would squash any bug dead... Apart from the scorpion but still."
Mettaton: "So to wrap this all up, The Scorpion's sheer endurance, resilience, combat skills, experience, and healing abilities was something the General nor his army could overcome."
UL: "STINGS for them, huh?"
Mettaton: "The victor of this matchup is, The Scorpion!"
UL: "...Huh, how about that? We managed to finish the verdict without something bad interrupting u-"
*Suddenly the room was suddenly overrun with spiders as they burst from the ceilings and windows while Mettaton and UL scream with horror as they were covered with spiders.*
Mettaton: "YOU JUST HAD TO BLOODY JINX IT, DID YOU!?"
UL: "DAMN YOU, COMEDIC TIMING!"
THE WINNER IS THE SCORPION!
The Scorpion (WINNER)
+++Far more proficient and experienced in combat than the General could ever hope to be, even with a lifetime of experience in the Venezuelan jungle
+++Enduring a shotgun blast and being stomped on puts it far above any durability the General has shown
+Even setting aside baseline durability, his healing factor is a massive help
+The Soldiers would just be fodder that wound up healing him in the end
+Used to fighting things his size and having them fight back
+Used to being outnumbered in combat, especially from poisonous spiders
+Stronger by a large margin
+Far quicker, combat wise
+His claws and stinger gave him more versatility and even a ranged advantage
+Despite both having similar intelligence, the Scorpion is actually way better at exploiting it in a combat scenario
=Intelligence itself seems equal
-Despite speed advantage, wasn't as agile as his foe
-Webbings could definitely stall him
-Outnumbered
---The General's venom could kill it... assuming if he or his minions could ever even penetrate the scorpion's exoskeleton
The General (LOSER)
+++The General's venom could kill the Scorpion instantly... assuming if he or his minions could ever even penetrate the scorpion's exoskeleton
+Has his army to rely on
+Webbing allowed for better battlefield control
+More agile via jumping and web hanging
=Intelligence, non-combat wise anyways
-Can't use it as well in terms of combat though
-Less versatile, and has a shorter melee range
-Slower as a whole
-Weaker
-The Scorpion is used to being outnumbered
-Not used to fighting things his own size that pose a genuine challenge
-No way to heal if he's damaged during a fight
-His Soldiers would just be free food to heal the Scorpion
---Even with his flame feat, absolutely swamped in durability by comparison
---Far, far less experienced and adept in combat, especially with creatures its own size