Mettaton: In the vast reaches of space, one can only imagine the possibilities of what could be lurking among the stars?
UL: Indeed, from cosmic horrors that are beyond our feeble mind or simply put, giant monsters that want to rip us into pieces. Who knows what's up there!
Mettaton: But what is certain is that there are those who... Is it me or is the floor shaking all of sudden?
UL: Could be the Washing Machine, but this one isn't nearly as violent.
King: BAM!!! And that is how you make a fuckin’ entrance.
Void: What the hell you could of killed someone!
King: Yeah and that someone isn’t us. Anyways why are we here?
Void: Ugh. The boss said that our next thing we’re supposed to be doing is a collab with these two.
UL: ...You guys realize that there was a fucking door upstairs. Right?
Mettaton: Honestly, I LOVE an explosive entrance like that! Reminds me much of myself.
UL: Well other than the fact that this damage is costs more than my daily salary, welcome to the show!
King: Thanks for having us! Send the bill to Void over there he’s the one who does the taxes.
Void: I hate you so much. Anyways today we have a battle between two warriors among the stars, and no matter the odds they will get the job done.
King: You are going to pay the bill for that explosion right?
Void: I swear by the end of this I will kill you.
UL: Mind if I help?
Mettaton: Okay, we're getting VERY off topic here. ANYWAYS, That's right ladies and gentlmen, these two are predators of predators but who can truly claim the title of Apex Predator.
UL: The Doom Slayer, The Bane Of Hell!
King: and Samus Aran, Bounty Hunter extraordinaire! Void: I’m Void and that’s King. Mettaton: Hello beauties, I'm Mettaton! UL: And I'm Unemployed Loser! King: And it’s all our jobs to find out who would win a DEATH BATTLE!!! UL: Uh... Actually it's Show-Business Showdown. Mettaton: Same thiiiing!~
______________________________________________
Void: Sometime in the future, the Union Areospace Coporation colonized Mars for the first time in history. There the many scientists began to research and investigate the mystery of Mars.
King: You would think something as unbelievable like an invasion from the armies of hell would never happen. But unfortunately, yeah that’s exactly what happened the gates of hell opened and came out demonic beasts butchered the poor scientists. Man, I hate it when that happens.
Void: I know right. The demons slaughtered the many scientists only leaving one guy to slaughter these hellish invaders.
Mettaton: The Origins of this man is shrouded in mystery. Some say he's the descendant of a great knight who battled hell for centuries, some say he's a vengeful marine who wanted payback against the demons for killing his son, and some say he's the grandson of famous Nazi Killer, BJ Blazkowicz.
UL: Damn, that could've made Young Blood worth playing! THAT would've saved the game... But no matter where he came from, the Demons feared him and while his name is unknown, the demons gave him a fitting title...
Mettaton: Ladies and gentlemen, I give you... THE DOOM SLAYER!
King: Doomguy, Doom Slayer, whatever his name is people only know him for one thing. He fuckin’ Rips and Tears through demons.
Void: That is correct. Throughout the Doom Slayer’s career he went up against the demonic horde and came out triumphant in the end.
King: This is the guy who literarally went to hell and back just to kill the Icon of Sin in order to avenge his pet rabbit who was brutally murdered by the demons. Badass.
UL: This guy is nigh unstoppable and there's no questioning that! No matter how big the demon is, it's going down in bloody-fashion!
Mettaton: And lest we forget about him being part of the best crossover in human history!~
King: Come on gentleman, let’s not forget that the Doom Slayer couldn’t have slain demons without any help. Well, he can totally slay demons with his bare hands alone but where’s the fun in that.
Void: Indeed, the Doom Slayer is a one-man army. He carries numerous different weapons at his disposal for killing demons as brutally as possible. In fact, we’ll be here forever if we went in-depth for each of the Doom Slayer’s weapons.
King: So let’s do that then.
Void: Did you hear what I just said? King: The Praetor suit is a suit of armor forged in hell. With the suit it allows the Doom Slayer to breathe in space and makes the Doom Slayer more mobile. With the suit he can somehow double jump, do quick dashes, and gives the guy resistances to fire, ice, and even radiation!
Mettaton; The Suit is also equipped with a shoulder-mounted ordance system called The Equipment Launcher, which can either attack with streams of flames exceeding 1000 degrees Celcius or ice grenades to stun demons. It's also got a nifty wrist blade that can cut right through flesh and bone with no issue!
UL: Quite a badass suite but there's much more than that. To blast away Demons into meaty giblets, Doomguy wields the Super Shotgun! A double-barrel break-open weapon that is capable of firing at a wide arc, turning his foes into a fine red paste. It even comes equipped with a grappling hook that allows Doomguy to zip across the battlefield and get in close for the kill too!
Mettaton: There's the Plasma Rifile, which can fire blue spheres of energy that deliver an explosive impact when coming into contact, turning the target into gross puddle of mush. It's even capable of overtaxing energy shields with just enough shots!
Void: We’re going to be here forever if we keep going through his- King: The Doom Slayer wields a fucking chainsaw. This baby can rip through demons like their nothing. If the Slayer wants to upgrade he can wield the Double Chainsaw. Twice the fire power, Twice the carnage, and twice the badassery.
Void: It’s like I’m not even here.
King: The Doom Slayer has a vareity of different Rocket Launchers with different effects and mods that the Slayer can use. The guy doesn’t even need to reload these bad boys cuz they can automatically reload for the Slayer.
Void: . . .
King: Did you guys hear something?
UL: Okay, to speed things up, this guy's got everything. But before we move on, let's at least discuss two more weapons that matter. Such as The BFG 9000, otherwise known as The Big Fucking Gun! Basically it's the title, it's a big fucking gun that blasts green energy tendrils that literally turns it targets into fucking nothing.
Mettaton: Last but not least, The Crucible! An ancient and powerful red energy sword that can slice and dice through demons like a hot knife going through butter. What's so special about this blade? Well the Doomslayer killed The Titan with it! Guess what... THAT BITCH IS BIGGER THAN A SKYSCRAPER!~
Mettaton: Yeah... Bottom line, you DO NOT want to be on the receiving end of The Slayer's arsenal... King: Hold on I feel like we’re forgetting something. What do you think Void? Void: . . . Oh am I allowed to speak? Uhh, oh right. For only a man Doom Slayer has a large number of feats under his belt. He’s slain hundreds- no millions of demons because of his utter hatred. He defeated the Icon of Sin twice, which caused massive storms to appear after its resurrection. He even saved humanity by fighting through the Makyr homeworld. King: You know all the feats your bringing up are mostly demon-slaying feats and how he saved the world from demons. What’s up with that? Void: Yeah this kind of leads into the Slayer’s greatest weakness, he’s not really mentally stable. UL: Yeah, the dude is more of a go in for the kill and hopefully your target is dead rather than coming up with a strategy before anything else. However, that won't stop him from making sure that no demon wakes away from his sights. Mettaton: And if there's one thing to be sure of, it's that no matter if you're human or demon. Nobody can stop the Doomslayer... UL: ...Except for Isabelle.
___
(Bio belongs to DeathBattleDino)
______________________________________
UL: Life use to be easy for Samus Aran growing up, as she lived a peaceful life with her parents in Earth colony K-2. But in fiction, if you wanna be a badass, something bad has to happen to you and boy howdy did things go bad for Samus.
Mettaton: Indeed, one fateful day, Her planet was attacked and raided by a group of malicious Space Pirates lead by a fearsome purple lizard who enjoys inflicting chaos and bloodshed whever he roamed...
UL: We're of course talking about... BARNEY!
Mettaton: ...Bitch, we're talking about Ridley.
King: Yeah dumbass get it right. Ridley Scott right?
Void: Shut the fuck up. Anyways the young Samus with good in heart went to the leader of the space pirates herself to try and plead to the leader to try and reason to the monster. Take a guess at what happened next.
King: Yeah Ridley tried to kill the young girl but her mom, Virginia Aran, sacrificed herself to save Samus’ life, then Ridley promptly ate her or something.
Void: Then Samus’ father, Rodney Aran, also sacrificed himself to stop the invading Space Pirates. Leaving the young Samus alone with her entire family and race dead.
King: It wasn’t bad for too long. An ancient race called the Chozo’s showed up and adopted the girl so she wouldn’t be alone for anymore. That’s nice.
UL: After taking Samus under their wing, literally, The Chozo raised Samus into becoming a strong warrior by infusing them with their own DNA. With it, Samus grew stronger and faster while also training under 1,000 times of Earth's gravity! Damn, talk about tough love.
Mettaton: After year's worth of training, Samus became a strong and formidable fighter as she joined The Galactic Federation to begin her life as a Bounty Hunter!~
UL: Oh and becoming one of the many video game characters that everyone wanted to bone at one point. Raise your hands people!
*Everyone but Void, raises their hands*
UL: Void, don't lie.
*Void let’s out a sigh and raises his hand*
King: That’s the spirit! Being known as the best Bounty Hunter across the galaxy this chick is packing heat.
Void: Y-Yeah. Samus wears the Varia Suit, a suit gifted to her by the Chozo race. The suit gives Samus added mobility along with increasing Samus’ defenses and she can use the thrusters on the back of her suit to reach higher places. The Varia suit also protects Samus from the cold, heat, and acid.
King: The Gravity suit is an upgrade to Samus’ already badass suit. The suit gives Samus a 70% damage reduction to attacks. With the suit Samus is given better mobility underwater.
Void: Underneath the her power suits she wears the Zero Suit and-
UL: IT GIVES ME A STIFFY LIKE YOU WOULDN'T BELIEVE!
Mettaton: NATHANIEL, WE TALKED ABOUT ONLY ONE PERVERTED JOKE PER EPISODE! Ahem... Sorry about that folks. Yeah, Samus' Zero Suit isn't that special as it only provide Samus with more agility but that's about it. However, Samus' Armors are nothing without her trusty Arm Canon!
UL: As the name implies, it's a beam canon that is mounted on Samus' left arm that can be upgraded to have several different functions. Usually being a blast of energy but there's more to it!
Void: The Arm Cannon is like a Swiss Army Knife of a destruction. The Arm Cannon can shoot blasts of energy which Samus can charge for more damage, she can change the settings of these beams for various different effects. Such as the Wide Beam, the Plasma Beam, and if Samus is backed into a corner she can use the Hyper Beam to annihilate foes in her path.
King: The Arm Cannon has a wide range of missiles that Samus can use to blow shit up with. Super Missiles, Homing missiles, even fuckin’ Ice Missiles. Though how does Samus even keep so many missiles in her arm? It’s almost as confusing as her damn Morph Ball.
UL: Yep and by somehow not breaking every single bone in her body, Samus can curl up into a ball and roll around. She can even boost the speed of her ball into a direction of her choosing and can defy the laws of gravity by going up walls and ceilings too!
Mettaton: And while these balls-
*King and UL chuckle like Beavis and Butthead*
Mettaton: Silence, you premature dunces. While these balls are quite impressive, they are nothing compared to Samus' Power Bombs! These bad boys are able to cover a great arc while exceeding high temperatures that are strong enough to vaporize living organisms. They even create a vacuum like current to suck in any poor unfortunate soul and are strong enough to cause a volcanic eruption!~
Void: Samus isn’t all Lasers and Explosions. The Screwattack surrounds Samus with energy when she performs a somersault. When Samus builds up a enough speed she can use the Speed Booster to ram her body and destroy anything in her path. She can scan creatures and opponents to find any weak spots she can exploit.
King: She can also somehow slow down time around herself to give her better reactions. How does that work?
Void: Well she is the best Bounty Hunter in the galaxy after all.
King: That doesn’t answer my damn question but whatever. Void: Given her experience as a hunter she can figure out enemy strategies and find the weakness of her opponents.
UL: However, when the going gets tough, Samus will activate Hyper Mode where she literally becomes the most dangerous thing on the planet. Pooling with Phazon Energy, It increases her in both defense and offense while having access to all her weapons and moves all at once.
Mettaton: With all of these weapons and armor, Samus definitely earns her reputation as the most dangerous bounty hunter of them all. Defeating all sorts of monsters including the neferaious Ridley over and over and over and... Say, any idea how he keeps coming back to life despite dying a million times?
UL: Isn't it obvious? He's got the Totem of Undying!
King: Nice. Besides Ridley Samus took down the leader of the Space Pirates Mother Brain, Battled against many other deadly Bounty Hunters, and has wiped out the entire Metroid race in a single damn day.
Void: While yeah, Samus is the most feared Bounty Hunter in the galaxy she isn't without her downsides.
King: Her ammo is limited meaning she can run out of missiles and power bombs if she gets reckless.
Void: She also suffers from serious PTSD due to well her friends and family dying all around her. Due to this her suit can actually malfunction under severe emotional stress.
King: Ignoring games with bad writing aside, Samus is still one of the most badass Hunters in the galaxy. She’s proven time and time again that despite her tragic pass she’ll keep on fighting to make sure the galaxy is at peace.
_______________________________
(Bio belongs to Avoidthisaccount)
Σχόλια